'Twas the Night Before Crypto.....

Wanted to post the following before the Christmas Holidays fully kick in and things get even busier, I forget to post this.

There's been a number of tech versions of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" out there that are fun. The most recent being one posted — I think last year — from Brad Beutlich. Since Post Quantum is on all of our minds, I wanted to provide a PQC spin to it. Hope ya' enjoy it!

Happy Holidays!!

Twas the Night Before Crypto

Based on the original by Clement C. Moore and the PKI version by Brad Beutlich.

'Twas the night before deployment, when through every node Not a packet was stirring, not even test code The keys were all stored in HSMs with care In hopes that quantum threats soon wouldn't be there

The developers nestled all snug in their beds While visions of Kyber danced in their heads And CISO in 'kerchief, and I in my cap Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap

When out in the network there arose such a clatter I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter Away to the console I flew like a flash Tore open the logs and cleared out the cache

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave lustre to algorithms running below When, what to my wondering eyes should appear But a quantum-safe sleigh, with eight cutting-edge gears

With a cryptographic driver, so lively and quick I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick More rapid than hashes his coursers they came And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Kyber! Now, Dilithium! Now, SPHINCS+ and more! On, Crypto-Agility! On, Future-Proof Core! To the top of the stack! To the top of the wall! Now hash away! Hash away! Hash away all!"

As private keys that before the wild quantum fly When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky So up to the system-top the coursers they flew With the sleigh full of keys, and St. Nicholas too

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each quantum-proof As I drew in my head, and was turning around Down the network St. Nicholas came with a bound

He was dressed all in crypto, from his head to his foot And his keys were all tarnished with lattices and root A bundle of certificates he had flung on his back And he looked like a validator, opening his pack

His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, like a quantum-safe telly

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work And filled all the keystores, then turned with a jerk And laying his finger aside of his nose And giving a nod, up the network he rose

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle And away they all flew like the down of a thistle But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight

"Quantum-safe Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"